Jesus, my safety harness

Maundy Thursday — the day when Jesus Christ was betrayed, deserted and denied — reminds me not to let fear defeat me. I can’t imagine myself being betrayed by someone I trust, deserted by family when I need them most, and denied by my closest friend more than once — all in the same night!

Fear, though, continue to hound me time and again. Being human does that. Remembering how Jesus handled Himself that stressful Thursday night helps me take courage. Being faithful can do that. It’s a nonstop roller coaster ride that I am in, and I’m comforted by the thought that Jesus is my safety harness.

Yesterday, Maundy Thursday, I treated my nephews and nieces to an adventure camp where we tried zip lining, free falling, and aerial walking. We took the basic course since it’s our first time there, plus I’m responsible for these kids whose parents trusted me enough to look after them.

The free fall was tough for the two girls. They took too long finding the courage to jump, that my phone overheated from recording. They were nearly in tears standing by the edge of the ledge. Part of me wanted to tell them it’s okay not to do it, but the part of me that wanted them to conquer their fear kept pushing them. I was really tough on them, which was really difficult since I know the feeling. I’ve been there, and I have overcome each time even if I took too long to jump. I knew they, too, could do it.

And you know what? They jumped! They probably left their hearts on the ledge when they jumped, but damn, they did it. I was a proud Tita!

Then it was time for me to face my own fear at the aerial walk. I thought it was easy, and I know my body enough to think that. But by the time I took my turn, the sun was at its peak, so the heat didn’t help make the course any easier. At one point while I was crossing two thin lines, I got scared that I might not make it to the other side. It was past 12 noon and I was hungry, thirsty, and weak from the heat. I took deep breaths and concentrated on changing my technique. I tried sliding my feet rather than walking, and I couldn’t figure out whether which was easier. Before I knew it, I was on the other side.

No, I didn’t do it with one hand. I rested for a few seconds to take deep breaths.

So, people might say I could die even with my safety harness on. At the rate I’m going with my adventures, I’d say true that. But! At least I had fun. And when that time comes for me to fall even with a safety harness, it means my time has come to explore grander adventures in heaven. That Jesus will let me fall so I can enjoy the long flight going up. Oh, uhm, please pray that i go to heaven when I die.

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