Death of a flying cockroach

PhzzzzzT! Phzzzzzzt!

Why the heck do flying cockroaches follow you when all you want to do is get out of their way? Is it kamikaze, cockroach style? I read somewhere that cockroaches that fly are about to die.

Well, this particular cockroach caught me on a bad day. I didn’t care if it was about to die. I wasn’t going to let it have its way with me before it plunged into its final breath. So I went to the cabinet under the sink and found me a spray can of insect killer.

Hah! Come and get some, cockroach! Mustering every ounce of bravery I have in me, I tightened my grip on the can and prepared my forefinger on the nozzle. Oh, I hated it! I was scared to bits and pieces, but I had to do it!

As if sensing the challenge and smelling my fear, the cockroach surged toward me Phzzzzzzt!

I waited until it was about two feet away from my face, then Psh-sh-sh-sh-sh!

It dropped to the floor! Victory! Bwa-ha-ha-ha!

No, wait, it was still moving. I could tell it was preparing for another take-off, so I aimed my can on the thing and sprayed like it was doomsday. The whole time, I could hear myself crying “OMG! OMG! OMG!”, not because I felt remorse for killing the thing – but because I was still so damn scared!

I realized I had made a pool of insect spray on the floor from too much spraying, and there it was…the darn cockroach swimming in the pool of insect spray, as if mocking me: “Is that all you got, human?” I can’t effin’ believe it!

Later that night, when my best friend got home, I told her about what happened. She almost fell on the floor and told me, in between tears of laughter, that I used a mosquito killer – not a cockroach killer! Well, this happened years ago, so the almighty one-spray-kills-all hasn’t been invented yet.

And the flying cockroach? It died eventually. I don’t know how exactly, but I have three guesses: 1) it died because it was about to die anyway 2) it died from drowning 3) it died from laughing too much at me.

Moral of the story: identify your insect killer.

Loser much? 😛

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Death of a flying cockroach

  1. A timely piece since its time for the roaches outside to invade our homes and take shelter. Parang yung kagabi — two flying mosquitos, ewan kung mag-jowa, gusto lang magtipid at nag-date sa loob ng bahay ko. Their restaurant? My effin’ refrigirator. They lunged into my freezer first — one of them got trapped in the magnetic door, but the other one squeezed in between my ice trays! Alangan namang mag spray ako sa loob ng freezer di ba? So I got my secret weapon….”Daddy!!!! There are roaches in the fridge!” And then I left him to deal with the lovers!
    Haay, buhay, ayoko atang ma reincarnate as a cockroach when I die! nakakamatay tumawa, baka mamatay ako agad.

    Like

    1. you mean cockroaches (not mosquitoes, right?). Hehehe. One of those roaches was actually the inspiration for this blog. Hindi ako pinatulog kagabi! Hahaha.

      Like

  2. Sounds like an American Cockroach. The males of the species fly and can be quite frightening. I once knew a termite technician who was deathly afraid of the big flying insects. He would climb on top of furniture or anything, trying to get away from them. Once, a colleague of mine shoved one under the door of the men’s room while he was in there. His screams were blood curdling! We could hear him dancing on top of the toilet. It was funny to some of the crew, but I felt badly for him. If it were me I’d have stepped on it and cleaned up the mess. http://www.pestcontrolcenter.com/blog

    Like

    1. Hi Harry Case. I’m not aware of cockroach varieties. I’m just plain scared of them, period 🙂 oh, wait, I know of one kind: Madagascar cockroaches. Does that count? I always see them in Fear Factor. Anyway, what they did to your friend is just mean. I hope he’s okay.

      Like

      1. Yes, Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches count. Yea, my former co-worker recovered quite well…although he did find another job, a year later, and resigned from the company we were with at the time.

        Like

  3. I just moved into a new apartment in the Southwest. I lived in NY before this and had never seen cockroaches in my life prior to now. So far, I’ve seen two cockroaches in the past week.

    It’s definitely a terrifying experience. Mine are about an inch and a half to two inches long, very fast, and chase me when I back away from them. I don’t have any insecticide so I’ve been using things like cardboard boxes to kill them with. The mess they leave is disgusting.

    Best of luck getting rid of it.

    Like

    1. Wow, those are huge cockroaches! What have they been eating? 😉 I have experienced stepping on them, and the crunching sound underneath my feet is definitely blood curdling. That white thing that comes out of them is indeed disgusting. That’s why I don’t kill them that way anymore.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s