44, and twice as sure

I just turned 44, and I can’t believe it. I’m ancient! What? What!

When I was 22, I considered the age of 40 as the portal to death. When I turned 25, I felt a pinch of panic because being a quarter of a century old seemed overwhelming then. Then I turned 30, and the marketing world turned me and my fellow thirty-somethings into a niche. Reaching 40 surprisingly didn’t bother me much because the marketing world was still after my generation, saying that 40 is the new 30. I felt special (wink wink).

Today, at 44, I’m still single and wondering if I still want to fall in love. I have given up on having my own child, though it’s still biologically possible. Baka ikamatay ko na, wag na lang.

What I am 100% sure of at this point in my life is that I will be happy for the rest of my life — married or not, materially rich or poor. My family and friends make sure I don’t feel alone. And for that, I am satisfied. If someone special comes along to sweep me off my feet, then that would be great!

At 44, I am twice as sure that I will live a full life surrounded by love. Ancient is vogue!


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