I just turned 40 last 16th of this month. Hmmm, so this is what they say about life beginning at 40. Honestly, I have no idea what that means. I feel slower and weaker on the eyesight. Other than that, nothing much has changed. I’m still single. And a virgin. Ooops, did I just say that? I guess that’s one thing about being 40. You’re braver.
I didn’t see the movie about the 40-year old virgin guy, but I just saw Adam Sandler’s Click. Now, there’s something relevant for me. That is exactly how I feel. I feel like my life just made a fast forward to today because my past is now blurry. Oh yeah, I do have fond memories, but I live for each day and let go of what’s past. Maybe that’s why I don’t strut around carrying too much emotional baggage. I just bring with me what I can handle for the day. I don’t think about the future that much because I want to be surprised.
I don’t know if this is good or bad for me, but I’m not complaining. I love how my life is right now. I love that I cry and laugh, loaf and work, bitch and care, hate and love. How many 40-year olds do you know who still keeps a Friendster account? Or goes after the likes of JD Fortune and Taylor Hicks (okay, Taylor has a more universal appeal because of his hair)?
I still think about getting married and having a family of my own. But unlike when I was still in my 20s, or even 30s, I now have doubts. Not of finding someone to be with, but of being happy with someone. I mean, will I truly be happy with someone I barely know? How long do I have to spend time with someone to truly know him? How many guys will I have to be with to find out who’s the one?
Eh, I know…I know. People still get married at a much older age and claim to have found the love of their lives. Ah, what do I know? I barely knew how it feels to be really in love.
Am I leaving too much on God’s hands? I don’t know. Let’s see if I feel like asking the same question tomorrow.