Waiting for midnight

I set my alarm to 11:30. I have a good 1 hour and 30 minutes to get a nap, if I could. Beethoven’s Symphony No. 12 in the background just might help me catch the 40 winks I want before welcoming 2013.

As I close my eyes, my mind began its usual monologue.

So many people getting seriously sick. One passed away. Now, I’m told I have to watch out for my own health. Like I don’t! Sometimes, I’m afraid I might outlive everyone around me and I die alone. I don’t exactly feel perfect, but I know I’m okay. But okay is not enough. Never enough. Especially if you have people depending on you.

I toss and turn to my left, trying to shake off the disturbing thoughts. But my thoughts are just too loud — louder than the firecrackers preempting the official revelry.

Lord, I pray for those who are ill, that they may be filled with your mercy and recover fully without much suffering. I also pray for the families of those whose loved ones passed away. Give them enough strength to accept the situation and carry on. Shower me with your graces, Father, that I may continue to remain healthy for my loved ones……

I’m not good with prayers. I often begin with requests, instead of thanking Him for the blessings He has been giving me. I have to admit, I pray to also help me fall asleep. This may be the reason why I overslept. My phone alarm read 11:39, which meant I slept through the alarm. This is a good sign. A positive one. As positive as my spirit for the coming year.

Happy new year!

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