I have to admit that my mind was wandering during Easter
Mass today. Until Fr. Manny said these lines during his homily:

“Those who do not like their jobs are the ones who find
difficulty in doing their tasks. Do you ever wonder why some people find the
same tasks so easy? It’s not because they are good at what they do; it’s
because they are willing to carry the cross.”

I can relate to this. I have been bearing my personal cross
in the office. For years. Certain people are even making the cross heavier for
me to bear. There are times I wanted to quit. I would wake up in the morning
feeling heavy, dragging my feet to work. I was beginning to hate my clients,
and a couple of my officemates.

There were even times I wanted to make things difficult for
these people, just so they can feel what I feel. The thing is, I’m not sure if
they are capable of feeling.

I haven’t gone into confession yet (for years now), and all
these things are giving me more reason to confess to a priest. Soon.

How can some people get more and yet not find satisfaction
in what they get? How can someone like me get so complacent, and yet yearn for
more? Why am I stuck here? It’s not as if I’m not doing anything about the
situation.

I’m ranting. All I ever
do is whine. I have to stop.

I keep telling myself I am a bigger person than this. I have this cross because I can carry it. God is cheering me on.

Yes, I’m convincing myself. So what!

Till next Easter…