Go back

Something about my brother’s back made me feel a little pinch inside. He was leaving us for the first time, and I didn’t even feel the vacuum that he was creating. Until I saw him walking away. I wanted to call him back, but I knew that if I did, we would both regret it. Today, my brother is staying in the UK — with his family — for good. Has it already been four years? Two years ago, my bestfriend and I went to Baguio during the advertising congress. She took me to the Botanical Gardens, knowing that I’ve never been there before. When we got back to Makati, I saw one of the photos that she took of me in that garden. My back was turned against her as I was taking a video of a fluttering white butterfly. Again, the pinch inside. I didn’t know how my bestfriend was feeling when she took that photo. While I was having a grand time, my bestfriend was aching for her then boyfriend (now her husband) who was left in Manila. How could I be so cheery when she’s miserable? Somehow, I feel like I never want to turn my back against anyone again, especially my loved ones. That’s why I prefer walking behind them. I want to see that they will be okay. That when they turn, they will see that I am always there for them. Maybe, when it’s my time to turn away, I won’t look back. Because if I do, I will definitely stay.

2 thoughts on “Go back

  1. Hello, Carmie! Ang ganda especially when you said that you want to walk behind your loved ones so that when they turn back you will always be there for them.
    Galing sobrang idol kita. I really looked up to you.
    You said to me in your testimony that i know about Godliness…but you do also…with such wisdom that only God can give.
    I honor you Carmie for your love for your family and also for using your talents in writing to share your experiences and wisdom in life.
    I’m so blessed to be one of your friends and to have an access to your blogs.
    Thank you. Love you!


  2. Thank you. Flattering naman…you know how I value my family when we were in Subic, right? I try to be the same way with friends as much as I can. Kasi hindi ko kakayanin pag may masamang nangyari sa mga mahal ko just when I’m not looking. Kaya I would rather be behind them all the way, as much as possible.


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