Why I unfriended you

You were one of those who got removed from my Facebook list, and I’m sorry. Well, no, not really, but excuse me. You can say I’m a coward for not letting you know, and I deserve that. They say things happen for a reason, and on this instance, I have lots.

Yesterday, I “unfriended” 140 people from my “friends” list. Today, I took out 29 more.

This is not the first time that I have done spring cleaning of my Facebook account. About six years ago, I decided to take out a little over 200 people off my list. The feeling then was liberating. Today, somehow, I felt a little depressed after removing most of my friends and acquaintances from the list.

Why did I unfriend you? I did because:

goodnight dagatYou’ve passed away.

I can’t think of a better reason. You, as they say, are in a better place now. In fact, I envy you. That’s why I’ve arranged for Facebook to take care of my account when my time comes (check your settings, people. Facebook has got you covered in case you die). So, really, what’s the use of having you in my social network when you’re no longer here? As one friend said, “baka mag-comment ka pa”.

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You left me first.

Hey, when did you leave Facebook? Who is this white shadow on your profile pic? I had to find out this way? Fine. Unfriend. Hope to see you someday in person, though. Let’s have coffee.

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captured from funmunch.com

You won’t even realize I’m gone.

We never actually interact on Facebook. Yes, we do know each other, but we don’t like each other’s posts. We don’t greet each other on our birthdays. We don’t tag each other on any post. We don’t have recent (if any) photos together. We don’t even bother with a period as a comment to any post. So, yeah, are we cool? Ktnxbye.

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captured from thesociablesociety.com

You’re too important for me.

I used to brag about being “friends” with you on Facebook, you influencer you! Don’t get me wrong, I was tickled pink when you accepted my friend request, and I’m genuinely grateful for that. Hey, I had a good reason for inviting you, okay. We actually had an encounter in the real world! It’s mostly for work, but it still counts. Now, I don’t think you even care or know that I exist. Hurts, but true. And I don’t blame you. Go be famous while I wallow in my mediocrity.

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captured from facebook funny images

You forced me in the first place.

It was my personal policy not to be connected with clients on Facebook. Sure, there are exceptions, and you’re not one of them. You’re no longer my client, but I’m not keeping this.

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captured from astrologymemes.com

…have we met before?

You look familiar. No, I’m not giving you a pickup line. I actually can’t remember when or how we met, and how you ended up in my friends list. We don’t have mutual friends. Your profile doesn’t give me anything on you. So, yeah, goodbye, and…nice not meeting you?

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captured from imgflip.com

…I’m sorry, you are…?

You’re a mystery to me. I have no clue how we ever got connected in the first place. Nuff said.

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captured from wordstream

You have way too many FB accounts.

So, I took the pains of checking each one, analyzed which ones have recent posts that actually came from you, aaaaand…done. So, we’re probably still friends on Facebook. I’m not sure. Moving on…

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captured from weknowmemes

You just wanted to sell me stuff.

Create a Page.

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captured from me.me

I was just being polite.

I was probably being a unicorn the day you requested to be connected. We did have at least one mutual friend, but, I’m sorry. Perhaps if we have a chance to meet and have a conversation in the real world?…

So, are we good? We all good? Unfriend me. I won’t mind. Just don’t add me if we don’t actually know each other.

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