Who’s afraid of change? Is it change we’re afraid of, or is it more of the uncertainty it brings?
On day 4 of my 12 days of reconnection, I decided to visit a friend who curiously made herself scarce after deciding to quit her job to be a full-time mom. In theory, she’s supposed to have more time on her hands; but in reality, she just got busier.
Today, she’s reeling in a slew of life changes with courage and out-of-the-box mindset.
It probably started when she realized she no longer has to get up early, fight the traffic jam battle, do office work, then go through another epic traffic journey home. While she has her baby to concentrate on, she still had more time to spare. That sudden freedom from corporate stress could really mess with an intelligent mind like hers who’s used to working. It could also get wearisome at least, and depressing at most. So she took on a selling enterprise to while away her time, then ventured a bit on an “accidental business”, as she puts it. But somehow, she must have felt that something was still missing. Instead of mulling over uncertainty, she strived to learn more by attending workshops.
A lover of all things pretty, she then started a passion project where she could apply that love for beautiful things. A few months after, that project is now slowly turning out to be a serious business. None of these were as she had planned, but she’s embracing the change with open arms — one arm for her passion project, and the other for her supportive husband and adorable 2-year old.
Watching her now doting on her little boy and texting her husband and some clients in between, I am in constant awe at how she manages to juggle everything. I went to visit her thinking I could watch her at work, but it turned out to be a slow day for her. If that was a slow day, I can only imagine how her busy day goes.
Because what I saw was not exactly “slow” according to my standards. I mean, washing baby clothes, giving him a bath, feeding him, comforting him when he cries, putting him to sleep, washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, answering emails, responding to messages…I’m exhausted just watching her “taking it slow”. Wow. Just wow.
Now I feel guilty for demanding time from her just so we could talk like we used to. It dawns on me that change is two-way: one has to adjust as the other one evolves. It’s not fair for me to pull her back just because I didn’t agree with the changes happening to her at first. I am still witnessing my friend’s adjustment to the changes that are happening in her life. That’s like watching a caterpillar turn into a butterfly right before my eyes. Cliché, I know, but still beautiful.
Now I know better than to pester people who are going through changes. Maybe I need changes of my own, maybe not. What matters is I’ll be ready when my turn comes.