When you’ve made a declaration who your best friend or soulmate is, let it publicly (and by that, I mean your common circle) known, should you hold it “for better or for worse”? Because I believe relationships need hard work, once you commit yourself to it. And I’m not just talking about romantic relationships. When you feel something’s wrong, should you try to fix it, or drop it? What if the other one doesn’t have a clue that something’s gone seriously wrong already? And since when did it become right to put meaning into what others do or say, without the benefit of confronting them?

***

HER: How is she?

ME: Ayun, sumasakit ang ulo sa audit at inventory. Nagsasalamin na. Miss mo na, no?

HER: Hmm, well yes. But I’m not sure if I’m ready for another heartbreak pag nag-reach out ako and she’s still indifferent.

ME: She misses you too, you know. Kinakamusta ka din sa akin e. Give it a little more time. Pareho kayong busy sa bago nyong adventures sa buhay e. That’s awesome because it makes you grow apart, but fonder eventually.

HER: I’m happy that (her business) is doing good. I got a bit worried recently kasi I talked to some brand owners na partner din pala nya sa store and medyo hindi okay ang feedback. That’s why I wanted to reach out. But yun nga, she is still indifferent to me for whatever reason.

ME: If you really want to reach out, try it with me around. I won’t participate in the business talk. Just there to keep the air “warm”.

HER: Di pa rin ako ready siguro. I can’t move past the fact na she just changed sa akin in particular and wala ako maisip na reason.

Not even business coz she’s the last person I want to do business with now honestly. I mean if we got to this point and we’re not even biz partners yet, what more…

I just miss talking to her like a true friend. We called each other best friends and soul sisters at one point you know. That’s what I miss 😦

ME: I know the feeling. I felt left out when (my best friend) got married. But you know what? In every relationship, one always has to adjust and understand more if they really treasure the friendship. Every relationship, romantic or otherwise, requires work, right?

But hey, I can be a true friend in case you need one. I’m not applying as  a replacement bff. Just me being me. BeingKirei. Haha. Shameless plug.

Btw, that day when I asked you if you unfollowed me on IG? Same thing happened with her. At pareho kayo ng dahilan. That you were “cleaning up” your contacts list and I got accidentally bumped out. Weird no? Part of your souls are still connected somehow ;).

HER: Haha. She unfollowed me. So that says a lot.

ME: E di ba you unfollowed her din before pa?

Sige na nga, di ka pa nga ready. Itigil na natin to at baka sa akin ka pa magalit. Hahaha. Labyu!

HER: Sya nauna nag-unfollow. Haay okay I’m not ready until she is. I still did not do anything to her! You know that!

ME: (I really thought about this one before replying) No, you did not :).

HER: Oh, well. I still wish her well in everything. Almost texted her when I heard about some things sa business nya, but I guess she won’t let me in din naman so why bother.

Thanks! At least she told you  she’s doing okay naman.

 

ME: Okay. Nobody knows what anyone really thinks or what people’s intentions are unless you talk to the source, right? Look, I talk to you more openly than I talk to her. Dati baligtad. In fact, takot ako sa yo before.

You have a good heart. Stay that way. Don’t analyze things on your own. Keep your communication lines open. God watches and listens 🙂

HER: I know I matured way ahead of her. Even nung mag-officemates pa tayo pareho. I wasn’t clueless naman, I knew the three of you had a separate viber group. I started to hate the gossips we had about other people. And I was happy with the way I was growing personally then. I was just waiting for her to catch up.  Thought she finally did when she told me she’s resigning and starting her own thing. Apparently, we just grew farther apart.

I don’t overthink things anymore. I just take things the way they are. And that’s the way things are now.

ME: I don’t even remember how that viber group started. But since it had (another friend) in it, I didn’t give it any meaning. Just a sounding board for frustrations. It got a little too much for me as well. The “hate”, I mean. Dinadaan ko na lang sa funny comments. Iniisip ko na lang,  that’s the reason why I shouldn’t leave that small circle — to provide the balance.

Maturity is a process that sees no end. At least that’s how I treat it. That way, I get to check myself whenever I get (emotionally) weak 🙂

***

We ended on a positive note. I see hints of openness for a reconciliation within the conversation. Don’t you? 😉