How it is to be 50 and alone

I’m 50 today. Last thing I remember was when I turned 40 and I’m like,”Wow, my life has just begun!” because, you know, they say life begins at 40. Before that, I remembered turning 25 and thought I was ancient. What, I turned a quarter of a century! That sounded really prehistoric back then.

And now, I’m half a century. What does that make me?

screenshot of @PatamaForYou 's tweetscreenshot of @PatamaForYou ‘s tweet

I’m not like most 50-year olds in a sense that I’m still physically active. But that’s probably because I’m still single and I’ve never had children. I eat right and exercise regularly. I’m not a health expert, but I think my health habits amount to something. Who knows when I’d get weary of fighting this enemy called “metabolism”? I just feel I have a lot of fight in me right now, so bring it!

I'm afraid of heights, and that's exactly why I dare to fly.I’m afraid of heights, and that’s exactly why I dare to fly.

Don’t get me wrong. I still get depressed sometimes, thinking, ”what if I die today and nobody would even know?” I’ve seen it in the news – old women being found dead in their condo days after they’ve supposedly passed. I guess you could say that’s my biggest fear right now.

But do I feel sorry for where I am, how I am, and who I am today? Not really. Am I happy? I could be happier. But here’s the thing. This is where God put me, and I’m going to make Him proud of what I do with this gift of life. I’ll share it with whoever will care and whoever needs it the most. I may be slower than others on the achievement department, but I’m not doing bad, either.

What keeps me going is the time I spend with younger people. I love kids! I like playing games with them, talking and listening to them. They keep me grounded and remind me that life is really supposed to be simple. I also have good friends who could pass as my own children, and I’m learning a lot from them.

With kids, there is no judgment. Just pure joy.With kids, there is no judgment. Just pure joy.

I also still hook up with friends my age, especially my college and high school friends. In fact, we hang out so much that their own kids would be amazed at how tight we all are after so many years! They would even tag along because they find it fun just watching us. Every time we meet up, we’d laugh out loud about the littlest things. Like we’re in high school or college again. But when we get serious, we talk about politics and health and raising kids (yes, I have inputs, too) and anything that makes us adults.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, getting to age 50 should not be any different than turning 25 or 40 or 60 and older. To be alone is tough, so try to not be lonely. Be honest with, and true to, yourself. Be self-aware  and keep doing things that make you happy. Read more. Laugh a lot. Party hard. Eat pancakes. Get high on sugar. Exercise! Whatever floats your boat. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t get you anywhere, for as long as you don’t hurt anyone and you keep making Jesus proud. Better if you help someone get a better life. No pressure, but I can assure you it keeps you on the right course. You don’t believe in Him? Just do good just the same. What have you got to lose? And NEVER compare your life with others. Believe me, it sucks.

I’m 50, and I’m not any different. I’ll stop here because I’m beginning to sound like I’m making excuses. Now, give me ice cream and I’ll eat it like a 12-year old.

My ultimate goal is to become an angel.My ultimate goal is to become an angel.

4 thoughts on “How it is to be 50 and alone

  1. Mahusay..Hindi Ka Nagiisa.

    Turnjng Fifty and feeling fabulous is an honor that not so many are privileged enough to have. Some stop lige at 35 for reasons of their own doing or by events beyond their control. One thing is for sure, the sun still rises at 50 years plus one day and so on. And it still sets 12 hours after daytime. There is always a fresh start offered to all of us. The setting sun reminds us that nothing is permanent. Both the good and not so good stuff of life are not permanent. So keep counting until you forget how to count. 50 is just a number. You can double it up. Who knows.


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