At 56, I choose to keep going. A sedentary lifestyle forced by my career is but a pebble in my life’s choices. After failing to reach Mt. Daraitan recently, I felt disappointed (this will be for another story as I plan to go back there and get closure on this unfinished business). But on the upside, that failure made me realize I could take the highest peak in Luzon. And so a month later, I challenged myself to conquer Mt. Pulag — otherwise known as the “Playground of the Gods”.

No room for self-doubt

I knew Pulag is the highest peak in Luzon at 2,926 masl (about 16 km) via the “easiest” trail, Ambangeg, and the third highest in the Philippines. It’s tagged as good for beginners, and for 50-somethings like me who are generally in fair physical condition. I do exercise as much as I can, and try to keep a healthy diet. I used to smoke cigarettes, and have now “reduced” to vaping (it’s still not a healthy choice, but I’m a bit stubborn like that).

There was a storm brewing a few days before the schedule of our climb, and I kept praying for the weather to get better because I really wanted this to happen. But on the night before the climb, just about 4 hours before we start, a heavy downpour started. It lasted for about an hour, I think. I tried to sleep it off, praying for the rain to stop and for all of us to be safe if the climb pushes through.

I wanted the climb to push through despite the rain. I’ve climbed several times before with wet trails and pouring rain. Despite the anxiety brought on by the downpour, I knew I could take it. I have to, or I never will. I’m not getting any younger, and I’ve been feeling something tingling in my left knee for about a year now. So I prayed and prayed as I tried to get at least 40 winks. I knew I needed the energy, but sleep never came.

The spirit of the hike

We started hiking at exactly 1:05AM. The rain has stopped, and as expected, the trail was thick with mud and the stone and wooden steps along the way were slippery. This made the hike much more difficult, but team no-sleep was on high spirits. I was the oldest in the group, so everyone started calling me “Tita” or “mommy”.

They were genuinely concerned for me. This great guy named Bobot offered to carry my backpack for me (which was made heavy by my 2L water bag). When my fully charged flashlight died on me halfway through the hike, he made sure my path was lit using his camping lamp. That’s the beauty of joining like-minded strangers in this kind of adventure. You may not know each other, or choose to connect after the experience, but you will find yourself naturally cheering each other on to reach the summit even if it means you have to make a little extra effort for others. That’s human nature aligning with Mother Nature.

Of course I was always at the tail end of the group. I suffered from leg cramps twice along the way. Several times, other groups would pass us by, but I would always find myself catching up somehow. All of us wanted to go as fast as we can to reach the summit so we can catch the sunrise. Our guide kept telling me that we might not get to see the sunrise because of the thick fog that was made worse by the weather. He wasn’t helping in the motivation department, but my faith is stronger — always have, always will. He was probably just trying to manage my expectations, but as all mothers would always say: if you have nothing good to say, just shut the f*#k up (that’s my version, okay).

Bobot, great guy that he is, asked to go ahead because he wanted to be at the summit to make sure he’s up there before the sun rises. Of course! Who am I to stop him? I have our semi-supportive guide to help me the rest of the way.

Morning light was beginning to light our path just 30 minutes to the summit. I began to cramp up again, and I felt something different in my chest. I was like, whoah, am I going to have a heart attack? I mean, seriously?! I’m almost there! I wasn’t scared that I might die right there. I was more scared of the hassle I might cause everyone if that happens. This is just an example of how a mountain climb can mess with your head. Others quit; but me? I’m contemplating death.

Relax. I made it to the summit unscathed. I’m even thinking of my next climb as I write this blog. And may I just flex that I did it in less than 5 hours! I was already taking pictures at around 5:30AM, struggling to keep my hands steady because of the extreme cold. And yes, the sun showed up, the fog cleared, and a beautiful sea of clouds pulled my soul out of my body.

It took me half the time going down through the back trail, which surprised me because I took slower steps and stopped several times to take pictures of the mossy forest and grassland trails that I wasn’t able to enjoy climbing up. I purposely stayed away from the group so I could have my me-time and reward myself for this latest feat.

The mossy forest trail was special for me. Some say it’s enchanted, and for a spiritual Catholic like me, I choose to think it’s more of the Holy Spirit watching over the hikers. There were times I would feel like something is walking beside me behind the trees. There were also times when I felt that someone was walking behind me, so I would step aside to let that person pass through; but each time I turn around, there was no one there. This is where the Holy Spirit comes in: I never felt fear. In fact, I felt protected. All throughout this adventure, I felt all sorts of physical challenges: cramps, breathlessness, chest pains, and slips. Not once did I ever feel like quitting; the spirit was willing, and the flesh tried to cope.

My “why”

Every adventurer has a reason for taking the leap. Knowing my limitations, I took on Mt. Pulag with a prayer. God gifted me with physical, mental and spiritual strength that I can use to inspire others. Most importantly, to let everyone know that we all go through different kinds of pain and suffering. As I was hiking the trails of Pulag, my mind was focused on praying for specific people in my life who are suffering from different illnesses: scleroderma, rheumatic heart disease, brain tumor, aneurysm, alopecia, cancer, scoliosis, depression, and other medical conditions.

This is not the first time for me, but it is a reconnection with nature. It’s been decades since my last climb before Pulag (and Daraitan), and I can say it gets more meaningful each time. I don’t know how much more my aging body can take, but I will keep doing this for as long as my Maker allows me.